NR ReviewGenre: Romance
You know… it was not exactly the most ingenious story on earth. Yet it was still entertaining to say the least. Pay no attention to the title. Pay no attention to the cover. Pay no attention to the fact that Tonto Dikeh is in this movie… (like all her other movies) it’s really not as bad as the media makes it out to be.
-Story: [3 out of 5] You know… it was not exactly the most ingenious story on earth. Yet it was still entertaining to say the least. Pay no attention to the title. Pay no attention to the cover. Pay no attention to the fact that Tonto Dikeh is in this movie… (like all her other movies) it’s really not as bad as the media makes it out to be. This one no mean say make you go carry ya pikin toh follow you wash am o… ha! If you do dat wan, the pikin go learn wetin eem no suppose learn for another 10 years. Yes! There were some… how do I say… semi-graphic scenes but nothing too… blaring? Frederick Leonard walking around in boxers here and there. Tonto Dikeh wearing bra and pant here and there. Tonto pouring strawberry ice cream ‘down’ on a man. I mean… nothing we haven’t seen before (because you must agree with me, by now we are all used to the Poko queen and her ways… nothing is that outrageous anymore) and after Muna with a bikini… Frederick with boxers is nothing (not to say that anything going on down there was anywhere near NOTHING! Hmm… hmmmmmmm… I reserve my comments). I must admit, as soon as I realized Frederick was going to be gay in this movie I almost lost it… why him? Why o why do you guys want to destroy my fantasy with him like you did with John. I mean I just recently discovered him… let me dream small na… ah! haba!! Why couldn’t y’all use Muna or John or someone ‘not’ hot.
-Originality: [3 out of 5] Comme ci comme ca really. I’ve begun to associate Chisom Juliet Okereke with all the… how do you say… daring storylines in Nollywood and this movie is just her usual kind of story.
-Predictability: [1 out of 5] Definitely! But who cares if we know the end right? Doesn’t stop us from watching all four parts of it.
-Directing/Editing: [1 out of 5] Ehen… on first count this is a four part movie so… no passing 3 on directing. On second count… see picture on left… is that where engagement ring is supposed to be?
-Acting quality: [3 out of 5] Tonto Dikeh did what Tonto Dikeh knows how to do best. Which is?….. acting o… acting! Ma ko ba mi… only God knows what you thought I meant. Halima was ok. Femi Brainard got FAT! Oh wait… I’m supposed to be talking about his acting shey? Is it really a question? We all know say the guy sabi act abeg… on to matter. Moyo Lawal. Like I said before… the babe needs to desist (rapidly) from all these ashawo roles before they become her. Granted! She played a very respectable role in “Holding Hope” (well… not that respectable but more respectable than the norm). But you know what they say “people will never remember the good things you do… only the bad” (and this is even more true amongst us Africans! No lie… you know say you yaself be culprit number one). You can act! Yes… I’m a fan… but tone down the ashawo dear. Benson Okonkwo (the guy Frederick Leonard is dancing with in the picture on ‘story’) ah! If I did not know any better I for say you be gay true true… my guy chop knuckles (honestly. If you don’t know what that means, I can’t help you… I’d say the American equivalent would be ‘hi five’?). Ehen and now on to the koko (no pun intended… or is there?). On to Mr Endowed… sorry… I mean… on to Frederick Leonard. It’s good to ‘see’ you… (I mean see you on screens o) again. Mehn! Not only can he act… but he’s now fine too… ah! John Dumelo move over abeg (Dear John…Shey I no tell you make you go hit the gym. Shebi you answer me? Nooo… oya, gerr ready for some competishun). And then Oge Okoye (Babe what’s up with that thing you do with your hand – on lower left- seriously! Just put the hand down). The babe can not enunciate to save her life o… eh! Her English speaking skills might be questionable… eh! Her role picking skills might be questionable (I mean… “Lady Gaga” seriously hun? In your own words ‘like seriously’?)… eh! But the babe sabi act die. That doctor and that nurse in this movie eh! I don’t even have words to describe your so called acting skillz
-Setting: [3 out of 5] Ok
-Costume/Make-Up: [3 out of 5] Ok
-Props and Graphics: [2 out of 5] Did Tonto’s character seriously have a stripper pol— mba sorry – stripper ‘rope’? hanging in her room? Ha!
-Video Quality: [3 out of 5] Fair
-Audio Quality [2 out of 5] Inconsistent timbre
-Soundtrack: [2 out of 5] Ok
-Musical Score: [3 out of 5] A job very well done